the end and the beginning

today is the first day in 367 days that i have not breast fed Eli (or at least pumped). it is bittersweet. very bittersweet. after the doctor confirmed yesterday that eli is thriving and i am no longer paranoid about his milk consumption (or lack of) via sippy cup, i decided today was the day to try to cut the breastfeeding ties. he’s been barely eating on me for the past few months (and really only the left side — my favorite and his!) but the bond is what has kept me going. but he’s ready to be finished. at least i think so. i am sad to end this sweet and beautiful era with Eli. if you had told me 9 months ago that i would breastfeed until eli was one i would have never believed it (or even thought it possible). but i did and despite the difficultly sometimes, it has been 100% worth it. it has been a great ride and i am so very thankful that eli and i had this experience together. it is time now to move on to the next phase but I will forever cherish and remember my snuggles and middle of the night feedings.

12 month stats & shots

yesterday eli turned one which is pretty obvious if you are friends of pk or me on facebook/instagram and/or tune into the blog with any regularity. sorry…it’s a HUGE deal in my world so it’s pretty much broadcast everywhere.

anyway, i’ve covered a lot about the celebration for his 1st birthday, but here is a rundown of what is actually going on in our lives on a day-to-day basis (well, more like a snapshot right now since it changes almost daily!).

*at his one-year well-check today, he was 21.5lbs and 30.5″ long putting him in the 50% percentile for weight and 75% for height. this is quite a jump from the 10% percentile we started in! the boy is growing. and, this explains the tightness of his 12-month clothing already!

*he “passed” with flying colors as far as his milestones – crawling, pulling up, babbling, pointing to things he wants, saying a few words (see below), drinking milk, eating great, etc.

* favorite foods: well, he’s still loving food, that is for sure. but he’s also showing some more pickiness now. some of his current favorites are avocado (still), watermelon (HUGE lover of this and prefers it in larger chunks), strawberries, bananas, yogurt and dr. preggers veggie burgers. for snacks he loves annie’s goldfish “bunnies”.

*hates: not loving carrots (unless they are stir-fried on hibachi grill we discovered last night!), brocoli – it almost always gets thrown on the floor to the dogs. this he gets from his dad.

* favorite words: uh-oh spaghetti-oh (yes he says it!), ma-ma, da-da, ba (ball), tttt (light)

*favorite noise (not sure if it’s his favorite or just mine): the DEEP belly laugh that almost seems to bust out of him. it’s hysterical. it’s like he’s been holding it in and it just explodes from deep within. he talks a lot (gets this from both is mama and dada) and i only wish i knew a tidbit of what was really going through his head. it’s amazing.

*sleep/schedule: we’re better in this department. still not great, but we’re on a pretty good routine these days (knock on wood — it will change tonight). he typically gets up around 5:45-6:30am (yes, that early — we did that to ourselves unfortunately). he’s an early riser like his parents. after milk (breast or bottle) we play and then have breakfast. after breakfast we usually play some more upstairs or in his nursery with books and balls (loves balls, loves them) and then go for a walk. on monday/tuesday/wednesday we go to the library for story/play time at 10. sometimes he naps before, sometimes he naps after and sometimes he has no nap at all in the morning. around noon we have lunch followed by either play time OR a nap (if the morning didn’t have one). then we play more, run errands, sometimes hit the pool or just play outside (he loves outdoors). he usually takes a good afternoon nap either after lunch or around 2/3. around 6 we have dinner and then play more and usually go on a short family stroll in the red wagon. bath time usually starts around 7:30, followed by a bottle and bed around 8. now, we are NOT at all super strict with this…i sort of let him dictate when he’s tired, etc. i realize this might be a “no no” in the world of many, but it works for us. i like that we can have him out past his “bedtime” or during “naptime” and he doesn’t freak out. for example, he was a super star at his hibachi grill/sushi birthday dinner last night and we didn’t get home until nearly 8:30.

*personality: he’s a pretty good “go with the flow” baby. however, when he wants something and doesn’t get it, watch out. he has a TEMPER. i’ve gotten to see this a few times more often recently — mostly due to weaning him from the breast. he’s not a fan of a sippy cup. at all. we’re working on that.

* things he loves: balls (beach balls, basketballs, nerf balls, foam balls, etc – if it rolls and he can throw it, he loves it), bubbles, his walker (brilliant), using anything as a walker (chairs, his stroller, stools, etc.), throwing things (this could be bad), being outside in general, MUSIC (of any kind), his new tricycle, swinging and drums (this is somewhat new!)

*things he hates: diaper changes, clothing changes, being put down when he wants up and vice versa, SHOTS (today he had FOUR shots and it was pure sadness. his little body was covered in band-aids. hearing him cry in pain makes me sick to my stomach.)

*nicknames: buddy, little man, stinker-pot, E

i think that about sums up our little man right now. he. is. too. cool.

now we are officially in his second year of life and ready to tackle it and embrace/enjoy all the excitement and change it brings.

big boy on his new tricycle

12 months and counting

what-you-looking-at?

bubbles rock.

presents rock.

hmmm. cars are cool.

my drummer boy

the birthday boy

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mama and eli

our sweet family

party time

party time

playing with one of 1000 balls at my party. i ate a chunk out of it shortly after this was taken.

yummy!!

i got this people.

this. is. good. stuff.

favors. s’more trail mix. it’s crack.

i think this is a good thing.

s’more cupcakes. no words.
wow. it’s here. i cannot believe i am writing this post right now as it still seems surreal that i have a child, much less a one-year old little boy. two years ago i never dreamed i would be celebrating my child’s first birthday on june 11, 2012. never. i was near a point of devastation thinking we would never have a family. but, our hopes, wishes and tears turned in to a reality that is simply beautiful. words cannot describe the emotions i have as we celebrate eli’s first birthday. i think my sister-in-law, amanda, said it best when she said, “congrats on making it through the first year (which is equal parts uncertainty, confidence, laughter and sleeplessness). His birthdays are also a birthing of your motherhood. The bond keeps growing as you keep trying to learn and respect the uniqueness of who Eli is and will be.” this is so true and i cherish these times — the good/bad/easy/hard.

enough of the sappiness for now though…we have a party to discuss.

this weekend, we celebrated the big ONE in a big way. we had a backyard full of friends and family — lots of kids, bbq, s’more cupcakes, a big giraffe bounce house (adults love this too!), balls, bubbly (not to be confused with bubbles for the kids — we had those too), cake smashing (eli was a PRO – pics and details below) and laughter. it was perfection. and, most important, eli had an absolute blast. seriously, the kid is a natural politician/entertainer. he simply LOVES people. the party lasted well past the 3-5pm schedule which was just what i hoped for; a sign of a good party and people having fun if you ask me!

some of the highlights:

eli LOVED the bouncy house. pk, eli and i got in it with him prior to people arriving to test it out. his laughter was contagious. he had a ball! that deep belly laugh of his was in full force (which is quite possibly my favorite noise ever)

eli most certainly made us proud with the cake smashing. i made him a cake to destroy…and he sure did just that! he dove in with both hands and enjoyed every taste (pretty sure he ate 1/3 of a cake for dinner).

eli bounced from person to person. he played with family, friends and other kids and never once had a moment of bad mood/crying. that’s pretty darn amazing if you ask me!

it meant so much to us that so many people came and celebrated such a momentous occasion for our family. i know that being one is ALWAYS a big deal to everyone. but, as pk and i were bouncy in the jump-jump after everyone left (yes, we did act like 12 year olds), we agreed that we think (“think” being the key word here — don’t want to offend anyone) that this birthday means even a bit more to us. after all, eli is our miracle baby. forever.

happy birthday my sweet love. happy birthday.

(back tomorrow with the 12 month laundry list of what he’s loving/hating/doing now!

a letter to eli from daddy

a letter to eli from daddy on your first birthday.

eli and daddy

Little man- you came into the world at 9:12. I think the doctor missed it by a minute. I say that only because of who you are, who you were named for and how hard it was to get to that day. You see, you were named for daddy’s best friend Mark Hindy. Mark died on 9/11/2001 in a terrorist attack that re-wrote history and there have been too many “coincidences” in your first year for me not to think that you were actually born at 9:11. From the commemorative bottle of makers MARK we bought for you that was randomly plucked by someone else from a box and was #911/8400 (mark wore #84 in high school football) to the outstanding year that the cards have had with you in attendance at many of these events (mark was a closet uofl fan, wink wink), all of these were better with you.

You have made me a better person this year. You have helped me grow up (I did not say mature) more than in any year before. Ultimately you have changed the way I look at life because I want to spend as much time with you as I can.

I will echo what your mother said in that we won’t be friends for many years to come, but I hope that one day we will. At the time I do them, some things will make you mad and you will wonder why. I hope to teach you and guide you not just by words but also by actions. I want you to look with honor and pride at your dad and say, “he loves me, and I love him.” And I want to always look at you and know that I did everything I could to make the right decisions for you and your mom.

Happy first birthday MEK. I love you more than any daddy before.pk.

a letter to eli from mama

the night before

day 1

eli,

for the past few weeks i have been drafting a letter to you in my head for your 1st birthday. there are so many things i want to share with you and teach you that it’s almost paralyzing trying to figure out how and where to start. i hope with all my heart that i am a good mama to you. i am trying so hard, but i am far from perfect. i get so angry with myself when i let little things get in the way of enjoying you and embracing the beauty in the chaos we call life. i will try harder, for you. and, i will keep writing about it in hopes that one day down the road we can read this letter together (and this blog journaling your life) and smile, laugh and cry.

at 9:12am on june 11, 2012, my life changed. forever. every decision i made from that moment forward started with you. it was the most beautiful moment in my life. i always wondered if had the motherly instinct. i actually worried that i wouldn’t. but then i saw your face, touched your skin and looked in to you eyes. and it’s as though the motherly instinct suddenly flooded my body. i now understand when people say they love something so much it hurts and that they would do anything for their child. i get it. i would do anything and everything for you.

there are no certainties in life. it’s hard. there will be temptations. there will be times we disagree. there will be times you will not like me (and vice versa!). i will be your mother, not your friend. i will be hard on you (and you will be on me!). but, i will love you through and through. that is certain. i will support you and love you unconditionally. always. this i promise.

your first year has flown by far too fast and while i miss the tiny little baby i brought home a year ago, i am simply in awe at how much i love each new “phase”. watching you learn and grow is simply beautiful. you laugh now. you smile. you talk (uh-oh spaghetti-o), you climb, you cruise, you chow down, you make (and love) messes. you are the life of the party.

you have brought so much joy and happiness to our family. and, at the end of the day, i remind myself that nothing else really matters. we tried for years to have you and you are everything and more than we could ever have wished for. we have you…our happy, healthy little boy. you complete us.

i don’t want to wish time away as it already goes by far too quickly, but i am excited for each new day with you.

much love to you. forever.

love,

mama

a note from cici on your 1st birthday

a note for eli from his cici:

JUNE 11, 2012 – such a special day
Our hearts were filled to overflowing with your safe and healthy arrival
Your sweet smile and personality give all who know you great joy.

Love you to the moon, Eli! CiCi

cici and eli

a letter from gram on your 1st birthday

To Eli on his 1st birthday (from gram):

Dear Eli,

​From the moment we learned you were coming, we loved you. We were so excited and couldn’t wait to meet you. June 11, 2012 was an unbelievably happy day for Poppy and me. We got to see your beautiful face, hold you, and marvel at the miracle that is Mark Eliot Klapheke, our baby Eli. Poppy brought his stethoscope so he could check you out!

​I was honored to get to be there when your Mom and Dad brought you home from the hospital. None of us could stop smiling. Our joy was contagious with lots of family and friends celebrating your birth. Your extended family was ecstatic that you had arrived safely; a happy, healthy baby boy. You couldn’t begin to know then how much you were loved, but must have felt it in the security of your parents’ arms. You are truly a blessing to your family.

​You loved being outside! Your Mom would take you out and sit on the porch talking and singing to you. You were such a peaceful baby, unhappy only when you needed something. We would all sit and stare at you and marvel at how perfect you were.

​There have been so many changes in a year! As you grew, you were even more fun. You loved, and still do, watching your world. We loved watching you as you became aware of the world around you and began to explore it. First you explored with your eyes, ears, and mouth, then hands, and now by crawling everywhere to see what was happening around you. Looking out your windows delighted you. When someone pulled in your driveway, your Mom would stand you up at the window so you could see. You would get so excited! I loved watching you watch men work in your yard. They, in turn, enjoyed watching you watch them! Outside was still your favorite place. Going for walks or to the park or to the library brought forth that beautiful Eli smile. Poppy and I love seeing your eyes light up and your smile erupt when we facetime with you. Seeing you in person is even better! We love it when you come to visit us or we come to your house. You are so much fun to be around! Books and music are favorites for you and your hugs can’t be matched. Watching you discover something new and concentrate on something is fascinating to us.

​As much fun as this first year has been, your life is going to be more and more exciting. You have such wonderful experiences ahead of you. As you grow and try new things, I hope you always remember to be thankful for the small things you encounter. You loved the simple joy of the breeze on your face when you were a baby. I hope you continue to enjoy the world around you.

​Your Mom and I often talk about a “Mother Book” with instructions and information for Moms. Here is a bit of advice from the “Gram book” for you.

Remember to do your best at whatever you do, both little things and big.

Be proud of the effort you put into a task.

You will be well-served if you do.

Be kind to everyone.

Respect girls and women. Treat them as you would want the women who are special to you, your Mom, grandmothers and aunts, to be treated.

Respect yourself.

Take care of your body — you will have it for a long time!

Be of good character. It is many times hard to do the right thing, but living with yourself when you do the wrong thing isn’t easy. My father (your great-grandfather) often said that when he was tempted to do something that wasn’t right, he reminded himself that he had to look in the mirror each day, and needed to be happy with what he saw.

Trust your gut feelings. If something feels wrong, it probably is.

Have compassion for other people.

You were lucky to be born into the family you have. Everyone isn’t as lucky.

​Especially remember that you are well-loved. Your family will always be there for you. Never hesitate to go to your parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins for support and advice. Hug them all often.

​​​​​​​Love,
​​​​​​​​Gram

gram and eli

the week ahead

the week ahead is a busy one. we have party prepping and play galore as we near eli’s first birthday. it’s fun. it’s busy. but in the midst of it all, i am in awe. i am in love. i am simply overwhelmed by how fast this year has gone. my baby eli is about to turn on (a week from tomorrow). i never thought the day would come when i would actually have a baby…much less a one year old toddler who has a full-blown personality. it’s a beautiful thing. so, excuse my posts over the next week or so as i am 100% certain they will be sappy, emotional and reflective. it’s just how it’s going to be. there will be cupcakes, s’more trail mix, watermelon, beach balls, bouncy house, bbq, balloons and champagne (it is a party after all) galore. we will celebrate with family and friends as our miracle turns one.

i plan on printing my blog from the day eli was born to create a book that he (and we) can cherish forever. i am beyond happy that i have kept up this blog to capture his life from conception. this spontaneous journal that started nearly two years ago as a cathartic tool to get me through a really bad time is something i will now

my little lumberjack

forever hold dear to my heart.

and so it begins

today is a big day for eli (well more for me).

today, we put aside the formula and breast milk (for at least a few feedings), in exchange for whole milk. the real deal.

it may seem trivial, but to me this is proof that my little baby is turning in to a toddler. and that is a big deal. it’s beautiful and sad all at the same time. i won’t miss the $25 formula or the pumping/exposing my boobs in public that seems to be more and more common as he gets older (he loves pulling my shirt up) BUT i will miss my little baby eli.

this is not to say i am entirely finished breast feeding…not yet. but we are getting closer. it is time. for him and for me. it is just so hard to stop. i never thought i would be one of those moms who loved it so much. but i do. and when he snuggles up to me and nuzzles for me…well i can’t say no. not yet. but it’s all about baby steps.

Mama/Eli day

today was awesome. i accomplished absolutely nothing on my “list” but you know what… i don’t care. i take that back, Eli and i walked to the bank and our accountant’s office at 8am this morning. so that counts, right?

otherwise, we had the MOST productive, non-productive day. we went to the library for tater-tot time, only to find out it was cancelled today. so we played with Lincoln logs (new favorite!) and some of the other kids (and moms) who showed up. it was actually awesome. then, we cut a huge watermelon and ate until our bellies hurt and we were (both) covered in juice. he loves it BUT only when given to him in large pieces to gnaw and suck on (none of that bite size stuff for him). side note: he also discovered his love for almond butter today. yes, this newfound love of watermelon and almond butter undeniably makes him my son (and all Pk can think is $$!). we then headed to the pool – just us. we played ball in the pool, he napped in the stroller for 20 minutes (yay i read a page of one of my 100 unread magazines!), and we just chilled. we stopped by pk’s work on the way home for a quick visit and then came home to MORE watermelon. this was followed by a shower. Much needed. and, while i bathed, eli demolished the bathroom (see below pic). pretty priceless. it looked like we had been toilet-papered!

oh, and we attempted the breast weaning today. FAIL. he takes bottles, formula, etc with no problem, but when he wants boob and i am here, well he wants it. enough said. i mean, 12 months of this routine is hard to break! but we are trying — since he will be ONE in a couple weeks. idon’t want to be that mom who has a 3 year old asking for her boob. more on that in another post though. we also bought the next step up car seat yesterday (tear). it’s all happening too fast!

all in all, an amazing summer lovin’ day.