i’m all about therapy…of all varieties.
one of my favorite kinds — retail therapy! nothing can help turn a day around like a nice little stint on piperlime or an awesome deal on gilt group. but, no amount of retail therapy (and all it entails — spa days, vacations, etc) can really help with the deep, emotional funk that infertility can cause. it’s merely a (pretty) band-aid. and our bank account can’t handle too many more band-aids.
it is no secret that my husband and i have seen a therapist for many years. and we likely would not be here today without her (anyone watch two and a half men?? Our therapist is dead on charlie’s therapist–she rocks!). she has helped us through so many normal marital issues and has been our objective party for good times and bad. and, she has been with us from day one of our infertility journey which has been a pure blessing. interestingly enough, this is crazy talk in our small town. many of my friends have never/would never go to “couples therapy”, while we are overly vocal about our awesome therapist. in fact, we find ourselves quoting her often. it’s not that they think it’s bad –it’s just not the norm here and not quite as acceptable (unless you are having major issues and even then it’s usually with a priest). i am a forever believer and adovocate and suggest it to anyone/everyone who is married (or plans to be). trust me.
but professional therapy is not the only kind i rely on. i was fortunate enough early on in our fertility journey to find several other girls (at the time just coworkers and now dear, dear friends) dealing with the same core issue. over the past two years we’ve been together, we’ve been each others foundation and support system we could rely on day/night, up/down, good/bad.
our group has grown and evolved over the years:
we watched one member of our group adopt a little girl from korea after years and years in the queue.
another had her first little boy this summer using a donor egg after years of failed ivf cycles.
another is pregnant and due this fall after years of trying and several additional complicating issues.
another suffers from secondary infertility (just as heart-wrenching) and has repeated, unexplained miscarriages.
another is taking a few months off after an aggressive period doing ivf cycles out of town with no success.
and, well, you know my story. i’m in the throes of it right now…doing back-to-back ivf and iui cycles until we complete our “shared risk” program or have a baby (which we should know one way or another by January–more on that later).
each of these girls have a special place in my heart forever. we were brought together by a single common factor — our desire and troubles to have children–but the bond we share goes so far beyond just that. these girls have been my foundation–they listen with open, understanding ears and hearts at all times. they get it. they really get it. they understand the physical pain, the emotional turmoil, the financial stress, the relationship strain, the “gross” factors (you know what i mean — progesterone pills anyone?), etc. some ask if it’s hard when a member of our group has success and my answer is heartfelt and sincere when i respond “not a chance”. i know what they have been through and it keeps my hope alive when someone suffering from infertility has success…especially one of my therapy girls. as i told one of the girls who has a child now….if none of us ever had success we would be a crazy, bitchy, hot mess of a group. can you imagine?? (think a group of 5 hyper-hormonal, independent, type-a personality girls).
i am thankful for all of the various therapeutic outlets i have at my fingertips, but i am especially grateful for my therapy girls. without them i am confident i would have long since thrown i’m the towel on the quest to conceive.