october 13: a select few

previous post: 10.13.11

we have decided not to share our news just yet…for many reasons. obviously, this early on in a pregnancy can be hit or miss. so many things can go wrong and we don’t want to spread the word only to have to go through the painful process of sharing bad news. and, our town is way too small to just tell a “few” people. it would be in every household by dinner time. i had to swear my obgyn to secrecy (since he’s a friend and we all hang out together!).

we told our parents (since they pretty much know my cycle as well as i do these days).

and, i told my fertility therapy girls. we ALWAYS share this sort of thing and i wouldn’t even be at this point today if it weren’t for them. i would have given up long ago. they were amazingly supportive. i had emails, texts, phone calls and tears within seconds of my email to the group. their happiness for us is genuine. some of them have been in my shoes (i.e are pregnant, have adopted or have a baby), but several others have not. i am very sensitive to this. i know the feeling all too well. as i’ve said before, it’s different though when a someone who is part of this terrible “club” succeeds — instead of complete despair and bitterness there is a feeling of hope. however, there is also a feeling of loneliness and i am thinking about these girls so much right now. it’s almost hard for me to completely embrace this feeling knowing there are still several dear friends who are still in this terrible place. but, their supportive, genuinely happy words for me mean the world. more than they know.

this weekend i will be facing my first (well, second) situation where it’s going to be hard to hide the news. i’m going on a girls overnight houseboat trip with my best friends here. they all know what we’ve been going through and have been amazingly supportive. they also know i should have found out this week. i’ve tried to skirt around the topic as best i can (not too hard since i’ve been out of town so much for work) but face-to-face will be a different story. i am cocktail (champagne) queen. if there are cocktails to be had, i am having one. so, when i decline a cocktail red flags, bells and whistles will go off. my husband is really adamant that we do not tell so i am going to do this for him.

i told the girls i was going to detox from all alcohol through out next cycle to see if it has any effect on the outcome. i’m not sure if they bought it or not, but they’ve all been supportive of my decision. i hate not telling them (especially since if we do miscarry they will surely know), but i also know that right now we need to keep this our secret and relish in the time together before the questions and comments bombard us. we just need to absorb it all. and enjoy.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: