sinking in

this week marked our 18th week of pregnancy (19 on monday). we are a merely a week shy of the halfway point which seems ridiculous. if someone had told me 20 weeks ago that i would be at this point today, i would have laughed (well, let’s be realistic — i was in the midst of a two-week-wait and pumped full of drugs — i would have cried). anyway, here we are- enjoying, embracing, questioning and wondering. and, we reached another huge milestone this week — baby k started kicking! like his mama, he’s a busy bee. i’ve started feeling him more and more and my husband can too. it’s the coolest feeling ever. ever. tonight after two yummy slices of homemade pizza he was having a party (he apparently likes goat cheese a lot!).

on another note, my emotional swings have definitely started increasing. up until a week or so ago i think i was still acting pretty normal (husband may disagree). that has changed. i may wake up irritable, grumpy, happy, sad, bouncy, ugly, sleepy — name a dwarf and i’ve covered it over the past few weeks. i’ve shed my fair share of tears too — sometimes after a long exhausting day when consumed with guilt of not having the motivation to tackle my to-do list (must learn new camera, must finish babymoon Hawaii trip plans that we embark on in two weeks, must research registry stuff, must determine nursery decor path (interest is ruling my life), must start reading the 165 “how to raise a baby/child” books, etc). my past overly energetic personality has withered away and left a pretty tired girl in her place. my couch, hot tea, furry blanket, dark chocolate and mindless tv have taken precedence. don’t get me wrong, i am not nearly as tired as my first trimester — i don’t have to nap 2 hours daily anymore — but i’m simply done by the time nightfall rolls around. done.

i think this coupled with the changes to my always very trim/fit/lean physique have been the most difficult hurdles so far. i’m not use to lacking energy and motivation on a regular basis. and i’m not use to being okay with my clothes starting to tighten. so far i’m fortunate to still be in my normal clothes and have been able to continue working out regularly (with some modifications) but the physical changes are still very noticeable to me (and my friends). i had a minor freak out the other night while mentally packing for Hawaii — a bathing suit 5 months pregnant — what was i thinking? So, i splurged on a fantastic low cut, backless, sexy monokini (black of course) and several new coverups to disguise my thickening mid section. note: i’m all about rocking a bikini pregnant but right now i feel like i just look pudgy in the middle (too much holiday fun?!) not pregnant. come may/june my bikini and i will be found at the pool rocking it until baby k arrives.

off to enjoy the rest of an uber relaxing (much needed) evening with my hubby. cheers (with some hot tea) to a great weekend!

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