just not fair

over the course of the past few days, two of my dear fertility friends have received bad news. on sunday one found out her IUI failed (again) and yesterday another found out her IVF failed (again). i laid in bed and cried for a good hour grieving for them yesterday morning because it simply breaks my heart. i do not understand (and never will) why life just isn’t fair sometimes. i’ve said before (and i’ll say again), that i am not a fan of the “life’s not fair statement” typically, but when it comes to infertility it perfectly describes the situation.

it. is. not. fair.

how is it okay that 15 year-old, high=school dropout can get knocked up with the bat of an eyelash (and then leave their child in a school bathroom toilet to die), when others who would make the best, most amazing, loving, supportive parents cannot conceive despite thousands of dollars and hours of their life dedicated to trying. i will never understand and refuse to believe that “everything happens for a reason”. that’s a garbage statement when it comes to infertility.

it. is. not. fair.

i have a heavy heart and even some guilt as i watch these two dear friends deal with the pain that comes along with another failed attempt. why was i so lucky? why aren’t they as lucky too? when is it their turn?

i would never wish infertility on my worst enemy, much less a friend. it’s a terrible, saddening, life-altering, mind-blowing disease. and, those of us who have and/or are suffering from it will never be the same. and, those of you haven’t, consider yourself a very lucky person.

my thoughts are with these girls (and others like them) as they continue on their journey to have a child of their own. i hope our success can provide a glimmer of hope and a light at the end of the tunnel that it can happen.

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