reflections

we are only about 8-9 weeks away from meeting our little boy.

i’ve gone through the tired phase(s), the nesting phase (this one is still going strong), the emotional/moody phases (husband would definitely say this one continues) and now i’m entering the slightly anxious and uncomfortable phase. you know the feeling where you are ready for something to be here, but also not? my body is physically starting to become a little uncomfortable — it’s hard
to sleep, it’s hard to bend over, it’s hard to breathe sometimes…my body is just in a state of stress working much harder. it’s all for a good reason, but i can see how the next 8 weeks might drag by as these uncomfortable feelings only heighten. i’m sort of ready to not be pregnant anymore so i’m sure this will only increase.

on the other hand, i can’t help but wonder, “am I ready?”. besides the obvious things — nursery, car seat, baby classes (all of which are in process), i am referring more to mentally and emotionally being prepared.

am I ready to be a parent? Will I be a good mom? will i have what it takes?

obviously i am and will be clueless, but that i’m ok with. i have books, google, my mom and friends to lean on for that. but the gut instinct of being a great mom — i want that. i love my little boy more than words already but i want more than love for him. i want to show and teach him the world. i want to give him everything he could ever need, but not too much. i want to be what i had (and have) — amazing, supportive, intuitive, loving, open, disciplined, hard-working, inspiring parents.

over the next 8 weeks i hope to write down all my wishes for our little boy, and once he arrives my goal is to write regular (monthly?!) letters to our son about my hopes for him, his life, our life, etc. one day down the road i hope this will be something he can read to learn more about himself and where he came from.

we have the best of intentions little man — we want what is best for you and will give it everything we have, and more.

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