today (well, technically yesterday) was a big day in our household. it was my first day back to work. fortunately i work for a flexible company AND have an amazing mother which made this transition SO much easier and doable. i am back only at a modified schedule for the next 6 weeks (one(ish) day a week) and then back to 3 days a week after labor day. sounds like nothing, i know and i am so grateful first this job/flexibility, but it was hard.
despite knowing i was only leaving for one day, it was still emotional. i wasn’t sure how i would deal with being away that long. Aside from the obvious separation anxiety since i had never been apart from him longer than one or two missed feedings, i also had/have the stress of having enough milk pumped/stored for my hungry lil’ man. but, we both did well! he was a trooper and pounded bottles like it was his job. and i somehow managed to stay dry eyed. i think my concern/concentration on figuring out his to coordinate working/pumping/storing was enough to keep my mind preoccupied and focused.
speaking of, i managed to pump out over 12oz in the feedings i missed and probably could have done more but i underestimated and only took two bottles. :). i pumped in our work parking garage, my boss’s office (thank goodness for “mom” coworkers!) and trader joe’s parking lot (i was off to the side — no worries). it’s pretty comical actually…and yes it makes me feel like a dairy cow. but at the same time, it’s very rewarding. it’s sort of like vacuuming/sweeping for me — you see your results automatically and (unlike sweeping) i know the benefit of what I’m doing far outweighs any convenience issues it creates.
when i walked in the door after being gone all day (i swear he grew and started making new noises!), it was like i had never been gone. i guess i feared he wouldnt want me anymore — after all the bottle IS easier for him too. but he did and we got hours of snuggled, kisses and hugs. for once, i came gone from work and didn’t work all night! well, at least not at my paying job:).
so, as we continue to navigate this new and evolving schedule, my goal is to stay relaxed, calm and keep my eye on the prize. my little man. and, again, i am forever thankful for “gram” (my mom) for being his amazing sitter.
oh, and a side note, despite having a sleepy day (lots of snoozing/eating), he just slept a solid 6.5 hours!! too bad i didn’t go to bed when he did!