party all night long

a certain someone in our house likes to party. ALL. NIGHT. LONG. after several good nights of basically getting up only one time a night to eat (i stopped counting – that’s how many good ones we had), eli has now decided to go back to our early days. we are up EVERY. TWO. HOURS. not cool. we are delirious. at first i told myself it was a growth spurt. but i think after a solid 5-6 nights it’s no longer a growth spurt, but a new routine. and this is one i do not like!

we are running on coffee and adrenaline over here and both are pretty low. i keep hoping “tonight is the night we go back to normal’…but it hasn’t happened yet. i am thankful for the support and help we have — pk is amazing, my mom has been a lifesaver, pk’s mom is a blessing. but at the end of the day, i’m breastfeeding and therefore when he is up every two hours wanting to eat, i am the queen bee. pk has offered to give him a bottle in the middle of the night, but there are a few reasons this doesn’t really work in my mind. 1) milk is still a precious resource in our world. if i’m in the house, i need to be feeding him. 2) if i do miss a feeding, i have to pump. otherwise, i miss out on working on my storage stash and it could mess up how much i create. pumping is the WORST part about breastfeeding therefore if i’m up doing that i might as well get some cuddles too. 3) the 5-10 minutes it takes to warm a bottle when eli is screaming at a level 10+ at 2am seems like an eternity. i’d rather throw him on my boob and stop the tears!

so, that’s where we are this week. it’s been interesting. wine and coffee are flowing.

but, i’m surprisingly in pretty good spirits! i keep reminding myself that this time will not last forever and i WILL actually miss these nights. the bonding eli and i have at 2am is impossible to describe. it’s beautiful. this will be a faded memory too soon and therefore i’m trying to remind myself to enjoy every single (crazy) moment i can with him. i vow to re-read this blurb whenever i’m ready to pull my hair out!

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