first, a moment of reflection. one year ago this week, we found out we were pregnant. it gives me chills to think about it. in fact, i wrote about it here via a delayed post as i did with all my posts before we “announced” our news. it’s hard to believe that one year later i am snuggling with my four-month old baby boy. so much has changed in a year — i’ve learned so much about myself as a person, a mother, a friend and a wife. i am forever grateful.
second, today is eli’s four-month birthday! how on earth i have a four-month old, i don’t know. it seems like yesterday i was holding our 6lb little nugget and scared shitless. i’m still scared every day (am i doing the right things? am i a good mom? is he developing like he should be? the list could go on for pages…), and from what i hear that will never go away. the past four months have been eye-opening and amazing. i apologize to friends/family for being MIA quite a bit (that’s a goal i’m working on), but at the end of the day i just had to hunker down and focus on eli and my sweet little family. we were in survival mode — just trying to get through the days. but somewhere over the past few weeks i feel like things have clicked. our infant became more of a little man. his personality, his smiles, his giggles (amazing), his expressions…they are all priceless. and, the days (and nights!) seem to be getting easier. we’re in a routine (somewhat) and every day is more fun and amazing than the last.
last, but not least, today also marks eli’s four-month doctor appointment (and shots). i’ve heard this round is a doozy so we have big plans of snuggles and hugs this evening. the one thing i am excited about at the doctor is finding out how much this little man weighs. my money is on 14lbs. pk is saying 14.25. we’ll see who wins (and has to do the dirty diaper duty tonight).
a few things about eli at 4 months:
*he’s started giggling, and it’s the best sound ever. i wish i could bottle it. i guess in a sense i have…i keep a video of him laughing on my phone and watch it about 3x a day (or hourly!).
*he has an amazing grip — especially when it comes to my hair and necklaces. i foresee me wearing no dangly earrings for the next few years.
*this boy loves, loves tv. i know, it’s not “good” for kids, but seriously what damage can it do at this point. he just likes the lights and movement. in the mornings, he will sit in his nap nanny for a good 15-30 minutes and watch espn (if pk’s monitoring) or gma (if i am) and it cracks me up. he does this before he even eats…it’s like he needs some time to adjust to the day…it’s his morning coffee!
*we’re still breastfeeding. things are actually going pretty well on that front. the dietician’s tips seemed to have helped with my milk supply (lots of protein) and giving him 1-2 formula bottles a day has really helped me beef up my freezer stash. my goal is still 1-day at a time, but in my heart i would love to get him to 10-12 months on breast milk. we’ll see what happens. right now, he’s still easily transitioning from boob to bottle, breast milk to formula. he’s a champ. let’s hope it continues. i just love the bonding with him — especially on days i’ve been on the road for work. no one else can take that time from me. it’s beautiful.
*food – i’m hoping we can start introducing some food into the mix soon…he seems really interested when we are eating and his hands are in his mouth all the time (both of which are signs he may be ready to experiment with some solids). so fun!
*rolly poly – he’s officially rolling. we finally stopped swaddling him at night since he was rolling over (it scared me too much to let him be face down with his hands bound). and, honestly, he sleeps better on his belly. now that he can roll himself back and forth with regularity (at least in bed!), i am not as worried about him being on his belly at night. and, it sure has helped us get a few more hours between nighttime feedings!
*sophie the giraffe teething toy is genius. that’s all.
i’d be lying if i said i didn’t have a lot on my mind these days– most specifically with work and some decisions that surround it — but at the end of the day when my brain is frazzled and i’m exhausted from travels, i snuggle with eli and everything else melts away. add a glass of wine to that mix and life is pretty darn perfect.