yes, eli is changing, but this post isn’t really about eli. eli is changing by the minute; that’s a given. his birthday gift arrived yesterday and he is in LOVE (new swingset). he can see it from his high chair at the table and he just looks at it and points. it is adorable.
but, like i said, this post is about other changes. motherhood has changed me a lot — in good ways and probably some not-so-good ways (neurosis at an all time high – what?). i’ve recently realized that i need to appreciate and embrace these changes instead of trying hard to keep things the same and trying to be everything to everyone. jobs change, people change, friendships change, tastes change, priorities change. change IS good…it’s just hard to accept sometimes. and so without going in to too much detail, i’m just making a committment to myself to embrace the change and live every day, every minute to the fullest. that’s a tall task for a worry-wort, perfectionist like me. but it’s a good goal — reach for the stars, right?
i’ll end this already serious post with something even a little deeper. today as i was having a mini pity-party, melt-down moment, i learned of a friend (a fertility friend) who just had another unsuccessful IVF procedure. upon hearing her news my stomach turned and chills consumed me. i looked up at eli and started to cry. there i was overwhelmed by ridiculous “normal” things when a friend of mine is hurting and suffering with something so devastating and life-altering. my heart goes out to her and everyone in her shoes. you know who you are and i just want you to know that there isn’t a day that goes by that you aren’t in my thoughts. i look at eli every day and i am reminded of our long journey to have him. my commitment to try and live more in the moment and not sweat the small stuff is in your honor. because infertiltiy is the big stuff.